it's probably not cool
to masturbate
in Grandma's bed
to masturbate
in Grandma's bed
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
tell tom's sis she can
have our house but don't mean it.
we give her $10k as apology
posted by Laura Barnes
7/30/2014
Monday, July 28, 2014
last july i couldn't imagine
making $250k in a year
now, i've made it in a month
making $250k in a year
now, i've made it in a month
posted by Laura Barnes
7/28/2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
tom's mom's afraid of our dog.
is it coincidental that she's
the one he peed on?
posted by Laura Barnes
7/27/2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
after editing fantasy nigeria
all summer, the reality
is especially horrifying
all summer, the reality
is especially horrifying
posted by joe
7/26/2014
I tell Joe I'll skip it,
then, when I come into bed,
Tom has Spiderman 2 cued to go
then, when I come into bed,
Tom has Spiderman 2 cued to go
posted by Laura Barnes
7/26/2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
got my words in before schedule.
had to change my stayfocused settings
so i could get online legit
had to change my stayfocused settings
so i could get online legit
posted by Laura Barnes
7/25/2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
we fight cuz I want to fly to NY
for 50 Shades party but it's on V-Day
which we never celebrate
for 50 Shades party but it's on V-Day
which we never celebrate
posted by Laura Barnes
7/24/2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
i clean my office
and start using my mac.
tomorrow, back to work
posted by Laura Barnes
7/23/2014
i put my ticket to
begin again on the business card
and call it inspiration
begin again on the business card
and call it inspiration
posted by Laura Barnes
7/22/2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
we have such great
group chemistry, waitress
thinks we must be a band
group chemistry, waitress
thinks we must be a band
posted by joe
7/21/2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
after so long away
i'm a stranger
at our church
posted by Laura Barnes
7/20/2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
why is it so hard
to do things like
buy a chair?
to do things like
buy a chair?
posted by Laura Barnes
7/19/2014
finally back in denver.
we go straight to house hunting
instead of going home
we go straight to house hunting
instead of going home
posted by Laura Barnes
7/18/2014
our day in chicago
would have been complete if
we'd made it to the art institute
posted by Laura Barnes
7/17/2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
do these nigerian
gangsta rappers know
a homo cut their video?
gangsta rappers know
a homo cut their video?
posted by joe
7/16/2014
i hit the Times at #4
and don't announce at the family reunion,
because, really, who cares?
posted by Laura Barnes
7/16/2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
i could crawl right under
cute guy's desk right now
and start blowing him
posted by joe
7/15/2014
malificent isn't a bad show.
it's just frozen
live and without songs
it's just frozen
live and without songs
posted by Laura Barnes
7/15/2014
Monday, July 14, 2014
Lake Michigan with
76 members of my family
and i'm the obvious introvert
posted by Laura Barnes
7/14/2014
Saturday, July 12, 2014
i guess you can
still have sex when sharing
a room with the kids
still have sex when sharing
a room with the kids
posted by Laura Barnes
7/12/2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
i hope to juggle this week's
perfect balance of work
and relaxation forever
perfect balance of work
and relaxation forever
posted by joe
7/11/2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
a day of phone calls,
reading Songs of Submission,
and packing (again)
reading Songs of Submission,
and packing (again)
posted by Laura Barnes
7/10/2014
woah, i first see #thanksinhaiku
in laura's new book and am floored.
#haikugratitude
in laura's new book and am floored.
#haikugratitude
posted by joe
7/10/2014
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
the bigger the book
the harder the post-release
depression hits
the harder the post-release
depression hits
posted by Laura Barnes
7/09/2014
no contingency plan needed.
turns out no one cares if you shoot
by nancy pelosi's house
posted by joe
7/09/2014
Tuesday, July 08, 2014
being on a plane
sure hampers
frequent rank checks
sure hampers
frequent rank checks
posted by Laura Barnes
7/08/2014
Monday, July 07, 2014
too busy with iBooks emergency
to hear the gate change or the paging.
we miss our final flight
to hear the gate change or the paging.
we miss our final flight
posted by Laura Barnes
7/07/2014
Sunday, July 06, 2014
the palace is amazing,
but like all grandeur we've seen,
it sickens me as well as impresses
but like all grandeur we've seen,
it sickens me as well as impresses
posted by Laura Barnes
7/06/2014
Saturday, July 05, 2014
only differences with UK signing
are the fans talk funny
and don't steal all the swag
are the fans talk funny
and don't steal all the swag
posted by Laura Barnes
7/05/2014
Friday, July 04, 2014
tom gets a kick out of
celebrating the fourth
in the UK
celebrating the fourth
in the UK
posted by Laura Barnes
7/04/2014
Thursday, July 03, 2014
we chat for hours
plotting our books
in a hotel room in Edinburgh
plotting our books
in a hotel room in Edinburgh
posted by Laura Barnes
7/03/2014
Wednesday, July 02, 2014
we watch the sonar
745' sheer drop to the bottom.
and no sign of a monster
745' sheer drop to the bottom.
and no sign of a monster
posted by Laura Barnes
7/02/2014
Tuesday, July 01, 2014
stressed out of my mind
but reading a book for fox
in the sun, on the balcony ain't bad
but reading a book for fox
in the sun, on the balcony ain't bad
posted by joe
7/01/2014
