for years i've said
"i'm not into it." but really,
it's costume perfectionism.
"i'm not into it." but really,
it's costume perfectionism.
135.
I'm disappointed at
the willpower it takes to get
home in time for trick-or-treating.
the willpower it takes to get
home in time for trick-or-treating.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/31/2007
133.
She asks me to look up
staff benchmarks to prove we're overstaffed.
I do and prove we're not.
staff benchmarks to prove we're overstaffed.
I do and prove we're not.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/30/2007
132.
Monday, October 29, 2007
i give him my full name,
main email, number. he gives me
"studfromDC@aol.com"
main email, number. he gives me
"studfromDC@aol.com"
posted by j
10/29/2007
131.
Sad...
I hire my 12 year old babysitter
to help me get my work done.
I hire my 12 year old babysitter
to help me get my work done.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/29/2007
130.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
new blue-eyed guy
who checks gym id's
caught me staring
who checks gym id's
caught me staring
posted by j
10/28/2007
128.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
the lobster's head
still moving, watches us enjoy
his tail
still moving, watches us enjoy
his tail
posted by j
10/27/2007
126.
Friday, October 26, 2007
we watch movies as doctors.
how would we write
and direct it better?
how would we write
and direct it better?
posted by j
10/26/2007
125.
Last year, I was discouraged
taking the kids to the Halloween carnival alone.
This year, friends take them, thank God.
taking the kids to the Halloween carnival alone.
This year, friends take them, thank God.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/26/2007
124.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
naked, watching 30 rock
both thinking
"could i date him?"
both thinking
"could i date him?"
posted by j
10/25/2007
122.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
call. schedule.
call. reschedule.
call. apologize. rereschedule.
call. reschedule.
call. apologize. rereschedule.
posted by j
10/24/2007
121.
Hard to be enthusiastic at rehearsal
after reading the survey results
saying "music good, could be better."
after reading the survey results
saying "music good, could be better."
posted by Laura Barnes
10/24/2007
120.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
today i had to "produce"
girls with hair damage,
acne scars, and eczema.
girls with hair damage,
acne scars, and eczema.
posted by j
10/23/2007
118.
Monday, October 22, 2007
if it's fwd'd from dana,
9/10 times snopes.com
confirms it's fake
9/10 times snopes.com
confirms it's fake
posted by j
10/22/2007
117.
Whose idea was it to
survey the parishioners?
You never give opinion ops to the masses.
survey the parishioners?
You never give opinion ops to the masses.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/22/2007
116.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
drats! my 'tim curry' pumpkin
is defeated by
'the carpenters' pumpkin.
is defeated by
'the carpenters' pumpkin.
posted by j
10/21/2007
115.
I should decorate for Halloween.
My kids beg,
and it makes me feel like a shitty mom.
My kids beg,
and it makes me feel like a shitty mom.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/21/2007
114.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
maybe i left off the 'rsvp'
to fear no one would come
and be surprised when they did
to fear no one would come
and be surprised when they did
posted by j
10/20/2007
113.
Peripherally, it was about haikuing.
It really was an analogy for how
behind the rest of my life is right now.
It really was an analogy for how
behind the rest of my life is right now.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/20/2007
112.
Friday, October 19, 2007
dear laura,
didn't we decide
not to haiku about haikuing?
didn't we decide
not to haiku about haikuing?
posted by j
10/19/2007
110.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
though my presents include
parking ticket, dead clutch,
sore throat, it doesn't ruin it
parking ticket, dead clutch,
sore throat, it doesn't ruin it
posted by j
10/18/2007
108.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
his boyfriend comes home (he has one!?)
and i'm the birthday-suited guy
hiding in the next room.
and i'm the birthday-suited guy
hiding in the next room.
posted by j
10/17/2007
107.
Ryan writes her first hate letter:
her name with a circle and a line through it
and lots of scribbles
her name with a circle and a line through it
and lots of scribbles
posted by Laura Barnes
10/17/2007
106.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
up at 3am, showered
wanting to drive around town.
paris time rocks
wanting to drive around town.
paris time rocks
posted by j
10/16/2007
104.
Monday, October 15, 2007
in our departing train's window
max puts on a pantomime show.
he'll be a great dad.
max puts on a pantomime show.
he'll be a great dad.
posted by j
10/15/2007
103.
dragging the heavy bin,
I want to execute the woman who says,
"you should get one with wheels"
I want to execute the woman who says,
"you should get one with wheels"
posted by Laura Barnes
10/15/2007
102.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
the dessert course
of the reception dinner
is served at 2am
of the reception dinner
is served at 2am
posted by j
10/14/2007
100.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
he chokes up during the vows
a laserbolt of truth and emotion
amidst the formality
a laserbolt of truth and emotion
amidst the formality
posted by j
10/13/2007
99.
so now i begin building
a decent youth choir.
cuz i needed something else to do.
a decent youth choir.
cuz i needed something else to do.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/13/2007
98.
Friday, October 12, 2007
not gonna overdo it
at the crepes party.
tomorrow is the big day
at the crepes party.
tomorrow is the big day
posted by j
10/12/2007
96.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
he plops down a black amex.
tonight's hotel will cost more
than my entire trip.
tonight's hotel will cost more
than my entire trip.
posted by j
10/11/2007
94.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
lionel's tour includes
all the 70's gay crusing hot-spots
(tuilerie gardens, south side)
all the 70's gay crusing hot-spots
(tuilerie gardens, south side)
posted by j
10/10/2007
93.
We equate the mission's message
to the Catholic's
version of "The Secret"
to the Catholic's
version of "The Secret"
posted by Laura Barnes
10/10/2007
92.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
his bachelor party is
old friends having dinner.
later, over beer, we cry for joy.
old friends having dinner.
later, over beer, we cry for joy.
posted by j
10/09/2007
91.
driving home from the airport,
alone with the kids,
I nearly run out of gas.
alone with the kids,
I nearly run out of gas.
posted by Laura Barnes
10/09/2007
90.
Monday, October 08, 2007
after descending eiffel
we have tourist-priced
ham and cheese crepes
we have tourist-priced
ham and cheese crepes
posted by j
10/08/2007
88.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
we are 2 grown men
running through paris
with a camcorder
running through paris
with a camcorder
posted by j
10/07/2007
87.
i discover my mother is
much more susceptible
to movie rape than i am
much more susceptible
to movie rape than i am
posted by Laura Barnes
10/07/2007
86.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
omg the food, the cheese.
omg the wine, the history.
omg the men.
omg the wine, the history.
omg the men.
posted by j
10/06/2007
85.
The gay makeup artist
is so beautiful, he can almost
sell me anything
is so beautiful, he can almost
sell me anything
posted by Laura Barnes
10/06/2007
84.
Friday, October 05, 2007
woke up in paris.
is this today's haiku
or tomorrow's?
is this today's haiku
or tomorrow's?
posted by j
10/05/2007
83.
not sending the birthday
announcement to your out-of-state
friends may limit your birthday salutations
announcement to your out-of-state
friends may limit your birthday salutations
posted by Laura Barnes
10/05/2007
82.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
editing my bday party
announcement so it contains
just one exclamation point
announcement so it contains
just one exclamation point
posted by j
10/04/2007
81.
so much we mean to do,
but mom and I spend most
the day watching HGTV
but mom and I spend most
the day watching HGTV
posted by Laura Barnes
10/04/2007
80.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
saw a guy on the highway
take a hit off his pipe.
he grinned and drove off
take a hit off his pipe.
he grinned and drove off
posted by j
10/03/2007
79.
As it would happen,
now that Tom's not a designer
he's secured a huge design job
now that Tom's not a designer
he's secured a huge design job
posted by Laura Barnes
10/03/2007
78.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
every time we do room tone
i think of that scene
in living in oblivion
i think of that scene
in living in oblivion
posted by j
10/02/2007
